California
Healthy Workplace Advocates
2011
What is Workplace Bullying?
Deliberate, repeated, health harming mistreatment of a person by one or more workers that
takes the form of verbal abuse, conduct or behaviors that are threatening, intimidating, or humiliating; sabotage that prevents
work from getting done; or some combination of the three
Bullies interfere with legitimate business interests; it’s an issue
of power and control. Often blame is transferred back to the target, “blaming the victim”.
We need a law similar to current sexual harassment
laws to correct and prevent workplace bullying. By compelling employers to put policies and procedures in place to correct
and prevent this behavior, employers will also be protected.
Stats
- 1 in
6 people are targets of workplace bullying
- Workplace bullying is 2-3 times more common than protected status harassment
Why: Moral or ethical
person
- Talented, popular or are the “go-to” person that other employees seek for assistance
- Have the right combination of education
and experience that threatens a workplace bully
- You have a vulnerability that can be taken advantage of (new house, new baby, recently
divorced, new to town)
Types of actions
workplace bullies utilize:
- Stealing credit for work done by the target or others
- Threatening a target with retaliation
if they file a complaint with the employer, state agency or attorney
- Subjecting a person to health endangering tasks
following a return from a disability rehabilitation
- Assigning tasks beyond the scope of a persons job
- Abusing the employee appraisal process by lying about
their performance
- Making
impossible demands for resources, meetings and duties
- Using the silent treatment to deny access to resources necessary for the person to do
their job
Employer costs:
- Health Care costs!!!
- Absenteeism
- Lost Productivity
- Increased premiums for disability and workers compensation
insurance
- Poor
morale
- Turn
over
- Talent
flight (Millenials, Baby Boomer retirements)
- Bad reputation as a poor place to work
- Litigation
Health Issues:
- Migraines and tension Headaches
- Depression, anxiety, PTSD
- Adult Diabetes
- Hypertension and Cardiovascular Disease
- Sleeplessness, extreme stress
Types of Bullies:
- The
poor manager
- Situational
bullies – economic downturn
- Narcissists and Sociopaths
- Companies who believe it’s a just way to do business
- Others…
Narcissists (as detailed by the Book “Why is it always about you”
Sandy Hotchkiss
- -Self Absorbed- they think they are better or superior to other people and look down
on all others
- -Charming, alluring, funny,
intense eye contact
- -Arrogance- seen as bossy, subjective, judgemental and power hungry, they need to keep
people from seeing through their false self and the cowardly and vulnerable person within
- -Envy-
The see something in another person that they lack and want – this is one of the reasons people become targets
of narcissistic bullies
- Entitlement- Because they feel they are superior to everyone else, the narcissist sees
resources and people as tools to be exploited for their own needs and purposes
- Exploitation- (conscious),
the narcissist does not have the capability to recognize emotion in others so they do not understand how their actions
impair the health and well-being of others.
- Boundaries – Narcissists do not recognize that
people have are individuals that are separate from themselves. By not recognizing boundaries
they see others to serve their needs or be excluded if they do not
- Know your vulnerabilities! Narcissists are skilled at detecting
and ruthlessly exploiting your weak spots. Your best defense is to understand what these spots are, and to be extremely
wary of anyone who zeroes in on them.
- One way to try and distance yourself from such (establish and enforce boundaries
Thirteen rules for dealing with sociopaths (from Martha Stout’s
book) relevant for narcissists as well
- Sociopaths rarely look like Charles Manson, they look like us (soccer
mom’s and dad’s)
- Trust your instincts – If something doesn’t add up, question it, document it and be somewhat on guard with that person until
you know for sure where the person stands on the issue of consciousness
- Rules of three – (quoting Martha Stout)
- “one lie, broken promise or neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding”
- Two may involve a
serous mistake
- Three
and you’re dealing with a liar
- Leaving/Ending the relationship is easier now than later
- Get feedback from others
who have a similar relationship with the person to get their thoughts on their actions and integrity
- People
who are sociopaths have been practicing this behaviour their entire life. You cannot beat them at their
own game, the issue at heart is to protect yourself from the individual
- Trust and Respect is earned,
not given and must be renewed on a regular basis”
- Repeated bad behaviour and
seeking pity is a very good sign you are in the midst of a sociopath
- “Living well is the best revenge” (Quote from the book)
- “You
cannot negotiate with a narcissist or sociopath…You can only move on with your life the way you want to live
it and overcome the trauma you experienced. To do otherwise is to let the narcissist or sociopath
win your life and have control over it.
Seek Help
- Psychologist who is familiar with
workplace bullying (sociopaths, narcissists)
- Do not blame yourself; it is the narcissist/sociopath
who is (broken) the problem, stop internalizing the situation as a fault of who you are.
- Narcissists/sociopaths
have long history of victims/targets, you might be able to find others who have been involved with them for comfort
and recognition that it is they, not you who is the problem
- Double-take- narcissists/sociopaths
will make claims they are suffering and that targets are to blame for their problems. Being that
you will likely be reactionary from the trauma, it is easy for them to get the employer and HR to believe their version
of the story
BOOKS
“The Bully at Work” Drs. Gary and Ruth Namie
“Bully-Free Workplace” Drs. Gary and Ruth Namie
“Bully
In Sight – The Late Tim Field
Narcissism/Sociopathy
The Sociopath Next Door - Martha Stout
Why
is it all about you? - Sandy Hotchkiss
The Mission of Healthy Workplace Advocates Is to Raise Public Awareness and compel our State
to Correct and Prevent Abusive Work Environment Through Legislation
Next Meeting – Saturday, February 23rd, 2012 3pm-6pm